By my count, "Date Night" has about five or six decent laughs in it. Most of these are throwaway jokes, fleeting in their amusements. So the question you have to ask is, is it worth sitting through 1½ hours of stale comedy in order to get to those sporadic chuckles?
My answer is no, but maybe you have a higher tolerance for mediocrity.
What's most disappointing about this lame comedy is that its two stars, Tina Fey and Steve Carell, are some of the sharpest comedic tools we have in the shed these days. But their talent for funny television ("30 Rock" and "The Office," respectively) has translated into uneven careers at the movies.
Here they play Claire and Phil Foster, a middle-aged, middle-class couple struggling to stay connected with each other amid the hectic distractions of jobs and kids. Their solution is a magic date night in New York City to wash away their troubles.
Unfortunately, some criminals confuse them with another couple, resulting in a night on the run from both hoods and cops, and a bunch of encounters with strange people. Mark Wahlberg shows up as a helpful security expert with a one-joke spiel about never wearing a shirt.
It's an idiot plot based on mistaken identity, complete with a classic MacGuffin: A computer memory card that contains the key to ... something important.
Let's put it this way: If "Date Night" were somebody's first date, I doubt there'd be a second.
Video extras for "Date Night" continue a disturbing trend I've noticed lately: Good movies arriving with a paucity of goodies ("Avatar"), while the drek comes with loads of features ("The Book of Eli").
The DVD version has an audio commentary by director Shawn Levy, an extended car chase, scene, gag reels, public service announcements and a couple of featurettes about Levy directing the film.
In addition to these, the Blu-ray has several deleted and extended scenes, Fey and Carell's camera tests, snippets of the cast reflecting on disaster dates from their real lives, and a digital copy of the film.
The title of "A Price Above Rubies" comes from the Song of Solomon. In the most common version, it reads: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies."
But there's another reading: "A woman of fortitude who can find? For her price is far above rubies."
Virtue and fortitude are hardly the same thing. In the Biblical reading of virtuous, it basically means a woman who is humble, takes good care of her husband and children, and is utterly subservient in her marriage.
Fortitude means strength of mind -- specifically the ability to endure hardship. It's very much in this second vein that writer/director Boaz Yakin's film explores the cloistered world of New York Hasidic Jews.
Renée Zellweger plays Sonia Horowitz, a young wife who's just given birth to her first child, a boy. She has an arranged marriage with Mendel (Glenn Fitzgerald), a serious religious scholar who literally lives and breaths his Judaism. So serious, in fact, that he resists Sonia's attempts to make their lovemaking a shared experience, instead of the very one-sided, sacred (for him) affair.
(It's a great racket: "Sorry, hon, foreplay is against my religion.")
Sonia rebels, subtly at first but with increasing willpower. She confides her questioning of God's laws (as interpreted by the Jews) to Rebbe Moshe (John Randolph), who is so inspired by this passionate young woman that he goes to his wife (Kim Hunter) to tell her how much he loves her, and how he regrets not showing her any appreciation for the past 20 years.
Unfortunately, Sonia ignited a flame of passion that the old rabbi's body could not contain, and he dies that very night.
Sonia, who was raised by a master jeweler and has the gift herself, is recruited by her brother-in-law Sender (an intense Christopher Eccleston) to work for him. Three days a week she goes into the city to buy the best pieces she can find at a considerable markdown. Three days she works in Sender's "shop" -- a basement establishment that caters to a private clientele on a very exclusive (i.e., untaxed) basis.
Sonia grows in her new role, even as it fuels the split between her and Mendel. It gets to the point where she hardly looks after her son, instead leaving him with her sister-in-law (Julianna Margulies). She also finds herself having an affair with Sender, though it seems less about lust than a transaction -- he grants her some measure of the independence she craves in return for sex.
One day at a shop run by a Pakistani who wouldn't know quality jewelry if he sat on it, Sonia discovers a magnificent gold ring: Hand-crafted and one of a kind. She eventually learns it was made by Ramon (Allen Payne), a lowly assistant at that shop. Sonia tracks him down to his studio, and discovers a great artist in need of a sponsor.
Needless to say, such activities are frowned upon in the Hasidic community, and Sonia finds her self increasing, and eventually completely, ostracized.
I'm a big fan of Yakin's early work -- I repeatedly recommend "Fresh" to any and all who have likely never heard of it -- though he's segued into mainstream pap lately ("Remember the Titans," "Uptown Girls," the screenplay for "Prince of Persia").
"A Price Above Rubies" isn't a particularly good movie, though Zellweger shines in a tough, gritty role that foreshadowed her more serious acting ambitions. This movie came out two years after her breakout role in "Jerry Maguire," and it's a bold and non-commercial choice for an aspiring young performer. (Though one must admit, the pixie-faced actress is about as goy as they come.)
Made by Miramax when the Weinstein brothers were just emerging as a Hollywood powerhouse, "Rubies" reminds me in some ways of "A Serious Man": A painstaking exploration of the nature of Judaism, and how men and women try and often fail to live up to its precepts. I didn't particularly like "Serious Man," either.
"The Other Guys" is less a buddy-cop movie and more just a comedy where jokesters play around with guns. "48 Hours" and the "Lethal Weapon" flicks had plenty of laughs, but you never doubted Nick Nolte or Mel Gibson as legitimate cops who could bust heads (or shoot them) if called upon.
The entire joke of "Guys" is premised on the assumption that Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are entirely implausible as police detectives. With Ferrell, I think that pretty much goes without saying, but Wahlberg actually got an Oscar nomination for playing a cop in "The Departed."
The solution director Adam McKay (who co-write the script with Chris Henchy) came up with is to turn Wahlberg's character, Terry Hoitz, into a failed badass. He's still got the snarl and the hand-to-hand moves, but he's become a laughingstock for shooting Derek Jeter while working a Yankees game.
For his sins, Terry is stuck with a pencil-pushing dweeb as a partner. Allen Gamble (Ferrell) came up in the accounting department, and always begs off going out on exciting calls for murders or bank robberies because there's so much paperwork to finish.
That happens when you're constantly volunteering to handle the scutwork for the department's undisputed stars, Highsmith and Danson.
Played by Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson in all-too-brief cameos, the duo star in an over-the-top chase sequence to open the film, including crashing their car into a city bus, and then taking over the bus to continue the pursuit, with the car still stuck inside it.
Alas, the hot dogs are soon sidelined by fate, leaving an opening for the losers, Hoitz and Gamble, to step up.
The movie is more plot-heavy than I would've liked -- something about a shady investor (Steve Coogan) plotting nefarious activities involving illegal scaffolding, and a billionaire who's been bilked, and an Australian black-ops guy (Ray Stevenson) -- the pieces of which never really fit together.
But the back-and-forth between Ferrell and Wahlberg has some real spit to it, with lots of great throwaway jokes and ad-libbed one-liners.
I especially liked Terry's left-field accusation that "the sound of your (pee) hitting the urinal sounds feminine." Or, "You want to disarm that guy? Take the batteries out of his calculator!"
I laughed when Allen, after being egged on by the other detectives into shooting a hole in the squad room, has his gun confiscated by the captain (Michael Keaton) and replaced with a wooden one. Later, this is downgraded to a rape whistle.
There's also a running joke about the geeky Allen being irresistible to improbably hot women. Eva Mendes plays his wife, who's so gorgeous and brainy that upon being introduced to her, Terry keeps insisting, "No, really. Who is that?"
It's scattershot comedy, spewing a thousand jokes against the screen to see what sticks. Some of it doesn't -- an excursion to see Allen's ex-girlfriend keeps setting up a gag that never arrives -- but plenty of it does.
Even if they're totally unbelievable as cops, Ferrell and Wahlberg are convincing as comedians pretending to be cops.
It is accepted historical fact that Sir Edmund Hillary was the first person to climb to the summit of Mount Everest in 1953. But was he really the first?
The new IMAX film "The Wildest Dream" explores the attempt nearly 30 years earlier by George Mallory, who disappeared on the final ascent with his young partner Sandy Irvine. It also chronicles a modern attempt to re-create Mallory's climb, and suggests that Mallory achieved the summit, and died in some mishap on the way back down.
In 1999 climber Conrad Anker found Mallory's body on the north face of the mountain, eerily well-preserved by the freezing climate. A re-creation of this is shown in the documentary -- I assume it's a recreation, since by all accounts they buried the body after finding it.
It was known that Mallory carried a picture of his beloved wife Ruth with him that he intended to plant on the top of Everest. Since the photograph was not found on the body, even though letters and other personal effects were all accounted for, many observers are led to believe that he kept his promise.
Anthony Geffen, a veteran producer making his directing debut, balances historical footage and records of Mallory with the modern tale of Anker, who wants to tread in Mallory's footsteps to see if it's possible.
In particular, they want to see if Mallory and Houlding could best the "Second Step," a sheer cliff face near the summit. Modern climbers use a metal ladder bolted to the mountain, but for their attempt Anker and his young partner, Leo Houlding, have the ladder removed and try to free-climb the cliff.
Geffen captures the spirit of adventure that motivated explorers in the early 20th century -- vibrantly tapped into by the animated Pixar film "Up" -- Westerners who desired to conquer every challenge the globe had to offer. Mallory made two previous attempts to explore and climb Everest, and his fatal attempt in 1924 was to be his last before retiring to hearth and home.
Mallory is most remembered for the answer he gave when asked why he was trying to climb the highest peak in the world? "Because it's there," he said.
Narrated by Liam Neeson, with recreations using the voices of Ralph Fiennes, the late Natasha Richardson, Alan Rickman and Hugh Dancy, "The Wildest Dream" is an often gripping account of the men who dare to climb toward heaven, and sometimes pay the ultimate price.
Was there a more polarizing film this year than "Kick-Ass"?
Roger Ebert called it "morally reprehensible." A.O. Scott of the New York Times said it "turned my stomach." I admitted the film left me disturbed, but also entertained, and "disturbed by how much I was entertained."
Fourth months after its theatrical release, the British/American send-up of the super-hero genre is looking like one of the boldest cinematic visions of 2010.
Aaron Johnson plays the title character, a high school loser who wonders why everyone loves super-heroes, but nobody actually dons a costume and goes out and fights crime. He buys a green wetsuit, wields a couple of billy clubs, and calls himself Kick-Ass.
The only ass initially kicked is his own, but after a few false starts the fledgling hero makes a name for himself, via YouTube video of his exploits.
Soon a whole lot of supes come out of the woodwork, notably Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz), a pint-sized package of blood-spurting destruction, and her father/mentor/enabler Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage).
If Kick-Ass is a pathetic wannabe, this frightful duo are the hair-raising real deal. Hit-Girl shoots and slices her way through bad guys, and insults them with the foulest language you've ever heard coming out of the mouth of an 11-year-old.
This is, after all, based on a comic book whose teaser line was "Sickening Violence: Just the Way You Like It!"
Love it or loath it, this movie smashes Hollywood conventions.
When it comes to video extras, "Kick-Ass" does just that.
The Blu-ray/DVD combo pack includes a digital copy, and a host of features that shed light about the production. The centerpiece is a making-of documentary that, at 113 minutes, is only slightly shorter than the film itself.
The doc touches on absolutely every aspect of conception and shooting, including director Matthew Vaughn's pushback at those who flogged the movie as exploitative. One revelation is the filmmakers gave the role to Johnson before they knew he's British.
Vaughn also provides a feature-length commentary track, including the tidbit that Marvel Comics forced him to change logo of his longstanding production company, MARV, even though those are simply his initials. (His obeisance must have paid off; Vaughn is now slated to directe the "X-Men" reboot.)
Additionally, there's an "Ass-Kicking Bonus View Mode" that includes tons of behind-the-scenes video footage (which also incorporates some of Vaughn's commentary).
Plus, a 20-minute featurette on the comic book origin, and a gallery of stills.
Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" is probably my favorite animated film of all time, and I've been meaning to watch the 1946 live-action French film that heavily influenced it for some time.
It's really geared more as a children's fairy tale -- I saw it on Turner Classic Movies as part of a bloc of kiddie flicks. I think the animated version has much deeper themes that it explores more fully -- especially the beastly nature of men.
You already know the basic fable: A beautiful young woman is forced to live as the prisoner of a hideous Beast in order to spare the life of her father. Over time the gruesome creature grows to love young Belle, and she returns the affection. Their love breaks the spell that was cast upon him, and he is revealed as a handsome, rich prince who will take his lady love far away to live happily ever after as his queen.
Director Jean Cocteau, who also wrote the screenplay based on the fairy tale by 18th century writer Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (which she adapted from an original story by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve), created a visually stunning world in which to populate his characters. Even seen today, the technical and artistic achievements of the film are quite impressive.
Let's start with the amazing make-up for actor Jean Marais to portray the beast, which reportedly took five hours to put on, and another five hours to take off. What's really amazing about it is that it covers his face without completely disguising his facial features and expressions. His eyes, in particular, are still able to emote beautifully.
Cocteau's conception of the Beast is a little more canine in appearance and behavior than subsequent versions like the animated film and 1980s TV show, which bent toward a leonine mien. Although you can clearly see the similarities to the Disney Beast, especially in the ballroom dance scene where he dresses up in formal wear, which the French beast wears all the time.
The disembodied servants in the Beast's magical castle are there, although they remain wordless hands and faces appearing and disappearing out of the walls and furniture. No Mrs. Potts singing songs about being our guest, unfortunately. Still, the sight of stony faces peering out of the fireplace mantle, slowly tracking Belle with their eyes, is enchanting ... and haunting.
The magical rules regarding the Beast and his curse are quite different. Here his furred, taloned hands smoke every time he kills -- though this is merely implied, since we never actually see him hunt animals, or in fact commit violence of any kind.
He still has the magic mirror that allows the bearer to gaze upon anyone near or far, and also has a glove that instantly transports the wearer wherever they want to go. In one unintentionally funny bit, Belle zaps herself from her father's house to the Beast's castle, realizes she forgot the key he entrusted her with, blinks back to look for it and then back to the castle again.
I really enjoyed the self-loathing Marais brought to the role, though I must say I found Belle (Josette Day) a dreadful bore. She's simply a reflection of a feminine ideal here -- beautiful, humble, devoted -- rather than a distinctive individual.
Belle has evil sisters (no step; they share the same father) who constantly plot against Belle and humiliate her. It's interesting how in fairy tales and mythology sisters are almost always at war in some way, and never have a deep and meaningful bond.
She also has a layabout brother, whose best friend is Avenant, who wishes to marry Belle but is continually rebuffed. He's also played by Marais, who additionally appears as the Prince that the Beast turns into when Avenant is shot dead by an arrow while trying to break into the Beast's treasure trove. Avenant then turns into the Beast, and the Beast, who had just died, turns into the Prince, who happens to look exactly like Avenant.
I confess the metaphysical logistics of the story left me baffled. Especially when you consider the final dialogue between the Prince and Belle, in which she confesses that she really had loved Avenant, and only refused him out of loyalty to her father. I thought the whole point of the fable was that True Love conquers all; apparently, it's actually True Love needs another True Love to die before it can live.
At the risk of offending film purists, while I cherish the stupendous beauty of Cocteau's version, I still much prefer Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." It's just a more ambitious, fully realized version of a riveting piece of mythology.
"The Dungeon Masters," a documentary that was partially shot at GenCon in Indianapolis, is not really an exploration of Dungeons & Dragons and other forms of role-playing games (RPGs). Instead, it's an intimate, in-depth portrait of three individual gamers.
I admit that I was expecting a broader look at the gaming phenomenon, and if that's what you wanted, then director Keven McAlester's film will likely disappoint you.
It starts out leading you down this path, as we're introduced to the world of tabletop gaming at GenCon -- one of the biggest gaming conventions in the world -- in Indy in 2006. We get to see a lot of people dressed in funny costumes, huddled around a table listening to descriptions of fantastical worlds, with a fistful of odd-looking dice waiting to determine the fate of their actions.
Briefly, the film explores the appeal of creating characters with amazing supernatural abilities, and role-playing them through challenging scenarios. It's entering a world where you can become any kind of hero -- or villain -- you ever dreamed about.
But it soon becomes clear that McAlester was just using the convention as an open casting call to find interesting people. And he certainly found a trio of them.
Elizabeth Reesman stands out as the most instantly memorable, for obvious reasons: The 23-year-old often goes around with her skin stained an ebony black and her hair hidden under a stark white wig. Reesman likes to live-action role play -- or LARP -- as a drow elf, an evil underworld version of the creatures of light and goodness seen in the "Lord of the Rings" movies.
She's unemployed, lives with her parents, and seems to trip from relationship to relationship without ever putting down some solid roots. Reesman spends much of her time playing online RPG like "World of Warcraft." (One aspect I do wish the film spent more time on was the relationship between old-fashioned tabletop gaming and the online kind.)
I haven't played D&D for about 20 years now, but I do know that if I still did, Richard Meeks is exactly the sort of Dungeon Master I wouldn't want to have. DMs, also called Game Masters, act as referees, arbiters and architects of the games through which they guide players. You might guess that the position lends itself to the potential for abuse, and Meeks epitomizes the pitfalls.
Meeks doesn't just want to call the shots, but be the center of attention. He seems to take the greatest delight in killing his players' characters. He constructs difficult -- some would say impossible -- challenges, and punishes players for not behaving in the way he thinks they should.
He recounts one of his most infamous episodes, where he thought the players were being "too greedy," so dreamed up a "sphere of annihilation" to instantly, and permanently wipe out the characters they'd spent years playing.
As we get deeper into Meeks' story, we learn that he's a seemingly regular middle-aged guy with a nondescript job in the sanitation department, an Air Force veteran who abandoned his first family with hardly a backward thought. He grew up in a fractured home full of abuse, and in some ways he's spent his life saying good-bye.
By far the most compelling DM is Scott Corum, another middle-aged guy with a wife and family. Corum is witty and has a droll, charismatic presence. He works (barely) as an apartment complex manager. But Corum's real vocation is hobbies. He's constantly flitting from one creative outlet to another, never sticking with any long enough to make it his true calling.
He's a Christian puppeteer, certified master hypnotist, and currently is trying to make it as an author. Corum has just finished the rough draft of a book he's been working on for two years, and his attempts to get it published are achingly naive. And yet, somehow his pathetic pursuit ennobles him, since it gives him a purpose he seemed to lack.
Unfortunately, when things don't happen immediately, Corum soon finds a new hobby: Creating a cable-access TV show about a failed super-villain.
I've always said the best thing a documentary film can do is introduce you to community of people who may seem strange and even laughable, and help you understand who they are and why they do the things they do.
"The Dungeon Masters" fails as a journalistic exploration of gaming. But as a glimpse into the lives of the people behind the dungeon master's screen, it rolls high. (Not a 20, but enough to score a hit.)
"The Dungeon Masters" DVD comes with a modest but entertaining package of video extras.
There's a set of outtakes, mostly discarded moments following our trio of main characters. Mostly these scenes announce their own reasons for being left out of the film, but there's several pretty hilarious moments -- mostly involving Corum, who has a lot of funny stories, and tells them well. If he had a cable access show in my neighborhood, I'd watch it.
Additionally, there's some more material, mostly random bits of interviews from GenCon that didn't make the final cut. The most interesting are interviews with three other people who were apparently considered as main subjects. I would happily watch another documentary feature about this second trio.
