One year: Ruminations and recriminations

Today is my anniversary. But it's not the kind you celebrate.

One year ago today, I lost my job at The Indianapolis Star. Just writing those words seems incomprehensible to me, and I'm the one who's lived them.

I wish I could write one of those uplifting tales about keeping one's head high and using the time to explore new opportunities and learn new skills. I've tried to do all those things, but the truth is that being laid off is a pretty soul-crushing affair. The fact that I still haven't found a permanent position a year later only adds to this grim burden.

After 12 months of applying for hundreds of jobs, trolling employment sites and networking, the ugly fact is that I have had exactly two job interviews. And both of those were for low-level gigs that I probably would've been unhappy at anyway.

Given all that, you start to question yourself in ways both profound and ridiculous. You understand that with unemployment so high, employers are being inundated with applicants. Still, even applications to central Indiana newspapers haven't raised a peep of interest. The old methods of trying to establish a relationship are useless; the few news organizations that aren't cutting staff themselves broadcast dire warnings not to call or e-mail them.

Yes, I've kept busy. My wife Jean quips that I put in more hours now than when I was employed. That's likely true, but the vast majority of what I do is unpaid, or pays very little. I received a small amount of income from my film clients early this year, but one by one their freelance budgets dried up.

Around the first of February I had a choice to make: Continue to work for free in the hopes things would get better, or chuck it all. I chose to stick with it, and it's paid off: I'm getting a little bit of money now for movie and video reviews. My two Web sites have yet to produce a dollar of income, however.

Other freelance work has been sporadic, with September-October being particularly lucrative, and the time since a veritable wasteland. Still, the majority of my income comes from unemployment benefits, which will not last forever. I've already exhausted my state benefits, and am more than halfway through the federal allowance. I've been watching the news very carefully about Congress passing an extension.

I suppose I should be happier than I am. I've spent a year mostly doing what I love, writing about movies, albeit largely unpaid. Our finances are doing fine -- other than cutting back on eating out, we haven't noticed any appreciable change in our lifestyle. I have a wonderful marriage and a small but nice home. Many people are doing much worse.

Still, the skills that made me a good journalist -- and I was good ... am good ... I have to keep telling myself that -- force me to assess my situation soberly and rationally. When I do that, honesty compels me to say this year feels like lost time.

My newest freelance gig: The Indy Star

If you subscribe to the Indy Star or look at the links of my published work, you'll note a piece I have today in The Indianapolis Star. It's the cover story of GO (the Friday entertainment section) on the Heartland Film Festival.

I thought I'd point it out, and offer my thoughts on why I took the freelance job.

Given how much has gone on with the whole layoff/arbitration thing, I'm sure there are folks who consider me a massive hypocrite for accepting work from the newspaper that cut me loose. Given all the (unwarranted) attention to my donation of my settlement check from Gannett, it may seem strange to take money from the same institution.

"You haughtily refused to take their money on principle, but now you'll cash their freelance check?" is likely what some may say.

The truth is I bear no ill will against the Star as an institution. I may dislike, even detest some of the decisions they've made, particularly related to how they treat their labor force. But I still take the newspaper, I still care about the product and I have a great deal of affection and respect for the people who toil to put out a quality product.

If I can do anything to help them do that, I'm thrilled to contribute -- particularly to the "soft news" side of lifestyle and arts coverage.

As I said in my web video about the settlement check: The legal process is done. It's time to move on.

This was a high-profile freelance job on a subject in which I like to think I'm an expert. I gave no second thought to taking it, and now that I do, the feeling remains the same.

You can read the main article here and the sidebar here.

What I did with my settlement check

KARMA UPDATE: A few hours after I made this video, I received a letter in the mail from my mortgage company. It said my escrow was in overpayment, so I would be receiving a refund check that was nearly the same amount as the settlement check I donated.

I now believe in karma.

UPDATE, PART DEUX: A couple of other sources have linked to my post or given their own take, which you can read yourself:

Ruth's blog
Indy SPJ

Thank you

So, as I posted earlier, the contract vote for the Indy Star guild passed today, on a narrow vote of 56-45. I'm obviously disappointed, as this agreement includes dropping the arbitration for the seven of us who have been waiting since last December for our hearing.

But rather than slink and sulk, I see it as a day for holding my head high. I can honestly say that I did everything in my power to convince people to vote against this awful, unfair contract. I (along with James Yee) spent the afternoon in front of the music hall, handing out flyers and talking to people as they went in to vote.

So, rather than vomit up a bunch of accusations and bile, I want to take this opportunity to thank my former colleagues.

• Thank you to the Guild officers who have spent months negotiating with what might as well be a brick wall. I know you hate this contract almost as much as I do. And I know you feel like this is the best deal you could get. There's a toll one pays in your position -- professional, psychological and spiritual. It is not unappreciated.
• Thank you to the other six of the "December Seven," as we have been dubbed in recent blog posts and conversations. I appreciate the efforts you made on behalf of all of us. No one wants to be tossed into a lifeboat, but having crew mates like you makes it a little easier.
  
• Thank you to everyone who took a few minutes today to stop and talk to myself and/or James Yee about our situation and how this vote affects us. Some of you I was meeting for the first time; some I already counted as close friends. It was satisfying either way.
• Thank you to those who voted "yes" on this contract. Yes, I know it may seem strange to be offering kudos to those who effectively sealed our fate. But I know that each of you had your own decision to make, based on your own personal circumstances. Were our positions reversed, I might well have voted the same way. My sincerest hope is that you never find yourself in my situation, depending on former co-workers to defend your rights.
  
• Most of all, I want to thank the 45 who voted against this contract, and in favor of keeping our arbitration. You chose to take a stand, and just because it failed does not mitigate the fact that you stood up for what was right and true. Bless you.
  

A message to my Indy Star Colleagues: Please vote no

Newspaper Guild members at the Star are set to vote on a contract proposal this Tuesday. They are voting on a counter-proposal to the company's last, best offer that included a 12 percent pay cut. Gannett agreed to reduce it to a 10 percent cut in exchange for dropping the arbitration for seven employees improperly laid off in December, including myself.

On behalf of the seven of us, we're asking you to please vote no.

Obviously, this agreement would be detrimental to us, as we would lose our right to have our case heard before an arbitrator in exchange for a pittance of a monetary settlement, which we had no hand in negotiating.

But beyond the fate of us seven, the reason we need to uphold the arbitration is that no contract is worth anything unless we're willing to enforce it.

I'll be attending the informational meeting today from 2-4 p.m. today, and will be happy to answer questions from anyone who wants to contact me. My e-mail address is posted here on my blog under my profile.

More losses in Indy Star features

When I started work at the Indy Star in June 2005, there was a directory of features reporters taped next to the mailbox for our department. It listed 16 names. This did not include editorial staff at INtake (which became Indy.com, which became Metromix Indy), which at the time numbered about a dozen.

As an old editor once told me, "Politicians lie, but numbers don't." And the numbers for Star features reporting tell a very demoralizing tale.

After a couple of new departures, the number of features reporters at the Star will be down to an eye-popping eight. This includes both the old Star features and INtake staff, which were combined in January 2007.

Today I learned that Neal Taflinger, the prolific nightlife and music reporter/Web guy, has given his notice. I'm not revealing any secrets, since Neal -- known about town as Taffy -- has posted his move on social media. Joining Taffy on his way out the door is Konrad Marshall, arts reporter, who had already announced his attention to leave at the end of August.

Here's a roundup of the survivors. The beats listed are somewhat amorphous, since as you can imagine everyone is picking up other bits of coverage these days:

T.J. Banes - home/garden
Amy Bartner - nightlife/dining
Barb Berggoetz - health/fitness
Jenny Elig - fashion/lifestyles
Jay Harvey - jazz/classical music/dance/theater
Jolene Ketzenberger - food/dining
Cathy Kightlinger - Talk columnist
David Lindquist - pop music

My best wishes to those remaining, who carry on the thankless task of trying to keep lifestyle and arts coverage going.